Lawrence - We're here for you. Thanks for understanding my intent (Many times print doesn't come across the same as the spoken word and one of my pet peeves are forums that degenerate into back and forth insults). We're all here for the same reason, to learn and get the most out of the material. Feel free to post on the board any phrases that you are having trouble with, and maybe we do a better job helping each other through this. I think this message board is underutilized. I know Barry appreciates the praise everyone give his virtuosity (and I agree with all of it), but at the same time, if we all relate our own experiences (as you have have done), we can get a better idea where everyone is coming from.
When I gave up on the slow downer and started focusing on the PDF's, I found that the more of Barry's vocabulary that I was able to digest through the transcription, the easier it was for me to hear the same material in real time with slight variations. It has really been a revaluation to me, because what I used to hear as a flurry of notes, I can now hear smaller ideas that I learned in the PDF's linked together into music. Which is really true with any soloist. It's like a magician. Once you see how he does the trick, you think , "oh, is that all it was". But the real magic is how you dress it up. The same with melodic lines, take simple ideas and dress them up to make the whole more than the sum of the parts.
I'm glad to hear that you are didn't give up on your passion after the stroke. I know that is a huge setback, as I saw how it impacted my fathers life. I'm not sure I would have the drive to push through as you have. I know Pat Martino struggled to recover as well. Keep fighting and good luck, young man! :)